Saturday, April 06, 2013

POEM - The Exorcism of the Spaghetti Demon


The week of the spaghetti dinners
Was drawing to a close
I didn't know what sin I had committed to deserve this
I guess getting fed 7 days in a row
Was nothing to complain about
But so much spaghetti
In more varieties than I thought possible
Every single night
Each one more horrifying
Than the night before

I felt bad,
but this time was different
This time the bad was more physical
More intrusive
Than a simple dislike

The last installment had been the most evil
As I came to the end of the second serving
I saw it . . .
Mold on the noodles
This wasn't going to be good

It didn't hit right away
But it did hit . . . Hard

The first manifestation was from below
As all contents of my intestines
And of every other part of my body
Pushed out into the septic system
Of suburban Rancho Cucamonga
And yet I was not finished
As I sat and moaned the night away
Grasping my stomach
praying for death

As the clock struck 2 am I left my bed
Strolled out to the balcony
On the second floor of the apartment
Hoping the cool air would do some good
Reclining on the plastic furniture
Beholding the vastness
Of the firmament above
As the machinations proceed in the course
That would conclude this horrific episode

Then suddenly all the cylinders
Dropped forcefully into place
It was a signal that could not be mistaken
My only option was to grasp the railing
And let the flood depart
Feeling like first Chinese brother
Holding the sea in my mouth
I also could not contain it forever

So it fell, like thousands of skinny worms
Over the edge
Into the bushes below
Wave upon wave,
Relentless and repulsive

Until I was finally released from its grasp
Allowed to retain my life
Even as my dinner departed violently

I collapsed back into my chair
Again looking at the stars in a daze
Feeling a different kind of bad
Related to what the grounds keepers would find
As they trimmed the hedge
In the morning

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