POEM - 101 Elephant Mistakes

Yeah, right! Like an elephant would do that!

I could understand a few dance steps or swirls

on those columnesque back legs,

maybe draw the occasional raised eyebrow

when they splash paint on a canvas or two:

but really it would be hard to avoid

even at the outside chance

a ramp and a meat grinder

could both be persuaded

to show up at the same time

the great ethical question that still rears its nodding head,

I mean, of course, just because you can do something of that nature . . .

having machinery of sufficient

dexterity and all of the recipes

worked out to a perfect blend

of spices and textures

doesn't mean that you should do it, after all, PETA and

the FDA are probably on the same side and that happens

never, I mean never – well . . . there was that incident with the monkeys

but that is another story, no corporate sponsorship behind that one,

but I digress . . .

So, you say that this is a new product

something that's cutting edge. I just can't see why

Campbell’s of all companies would promote this product -

these are the alphabet soup people, for goodness sake!

happy little kids eating yummy soup as a fictitious cure for

everything from the common cold to cancer!

So, you say that Campbell's - still can't believe it –

has a new soup. What would you even use

Cream of Elephant in, my gosh -

must be some sort of soufflé or othersuch Frenchy type dish.

Do they actually use the skins in the soup? Ewwww!

And the color: gray and white, not the most appetizing of hues . . .

I can't imagine the taste, it's just incredibly awffff. . . what?

What's that you say? Ohhhhhhh . . . I get it!

Red and white on the outside, gray and white on the inside,

Sorry, my misunderstanding, and no, I didn't see your book –

all right, that’s enough, you've had your laugh –

Yes, I can read what it says

101 Elephant Jokes . . . very funny, sheez!