POEM - Emporium of Wonder

I shouldn't be this excited

It is a mundane thing

Just a new grocery store

But oh what a store it is

With row after row

Of wondrous bulk

I can barely contain myself

I mean look at this deal

Avocados by the case

Four dozen lovely alligator fruit

For a measly twenty bucks

I feel the need to joyously drown

In a vat of frivolous guacamole

The ecstasy does not cease in produce

Just turn the corner

Walk through the glass doors

To behold a walk-in cooler

The size of a football field

Stacked with chilled delectables

As far as the eye can see

All in mass quantities

Calling to my frugal side

Eggs are great

But ten dozen eggs

For that pittance

It would be wrong

To not take part

In such a fantastic deal!

As I drag myself away

From basking in frigid food paradise

I fumble for my phone

I must disperse the tale

Share my awe and wonderment

I frantically dial my wife

            All I get is voicemail

In a panic I blurt out

            Don’t go to the grocery store!

                        I've found perishable nirvana

            They have sliced provolone!

                        Sliced provolone in bulk I tell you!

            Wait! Wait! You must see to believe! Wait!

She must see to believe

Deals and bargains

Weighed out in percentages

Of the mass of a metric ton

We are going to have to bring the big car

Leave the kids at home

            Fold down all the seats

Ride with boxes in our laps

Might have to beef up the suspension