POEM - The Travesties of Travel

I’ve lost my taste for vacations

I mean the big ones

The whole family

Making the big trip type

It is fate that has thwarted me

Because every time

We go on a really big trip

There’s a disaster

Of some sort or another

So I’ve sworn off everything

More elaborate than a day trip

And even those make me nervous

Don’t you remember

That trip to Long Beach

For our tenth anniversary

Blew out the transmission

Somewhere around Banning

Drove the last hundred miles

Stuck in second gear

Luckily it was mostly rush hour

The car shop new us right away

Because of our stinky transmission

We burned up to get there

So we gave it a few years

Tried Thanksgiving in Utah

Even took along the neighbor kid

To see if our luck would change

Made it almost to Flagstaff

Before the rear differential

Nearly dropped out of the van

A rental car and a round trip later

And then 160 miles home

At 40 miles an hour

And don’t forget

Being pulled over in Phoenix

When we finally hit surface streets

And thought we were at the easy part

So a few more years

And we tried again

South Carolina to Arizona

Everyone on an airplane

We weren’t even driving

But the fates got us anyway

The dog got out of the house

Picked a fight

And got torn to shreds

Clung on to just enough life

That we had to have the surgery

So we left him with the Vet

And rolled our eyes

Both of us swearing

No more big trips

We just can’t handle the fun

That our vacations seem to bring