This
is my declaration
In
full voice
Right
in front
Of
the entire world
With
unmistakable clarity
I
am not
And
never will be
A
band parent
Which
is a real conflict
Because
these kids
The
ones I am responsible for
Just
happen
By
some odd chance
To
be
No matter how I protest
Extremely
good at music
.
. . Boogers!
Especially
in this small town
Where
extracurricular
Is
a fancy word
That
means “religion”
Which
means I can’t be offended
When
I am confronted
With
another letter
Telling
me
Yet
again
The upcoming performance
Will need a white shirt
With black stripes
And it just so happens
We’ve already ordered
All the shirts
At a special price
That comes out to
Exactly
Four times
What you would pay
If you had any sense
The uniform is
Mandatory
Compulsory
Obligatory
Essential
Required
And
. . .
Enforced
So, please,
for perfections sake
Have
your money in by Friday
I
don’t belong here
I
want my kids back
From
the clutches
Of
the Marching Branch Davidians
dba The Booster Club
So
I can foster further rebellion
Of
the kind we relish
The
fun kind
That
makes everyone smile
The
kind that keeps me
From
spending half my life
Waiting
in school parking lots
For
a glimpse of my captive children
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