I hate tight shirts, oh yes I do
They squeeze my jelly, belly goo
I get all grumpy and full of malice
Bound up and tied and getting a callous
Chaffing my handles that are made of love
Fitting tighter than an Isotoner glove
Glued to my biceps doesn’t feel tough
It more resembles a blood pressure cuff
Sitting at my desk I yearn to break free
Unbutton each hole and fling it in a tree
But why stop at my shirt when pants suck too
All khaki and stiff and I’m sure filled with poo
Ok, that’s just an excuse, but can you cast blame
As slowly I lose the corporate casual game
I want to wallow and roll and lazily flop
Grow out my beard and the mop up on top
Wear oversized t-shirts with clever sayings
Flip-flops and shorts that are holey and fraying
And you do to, I know that you do
If you say that you don’t, it’s simply not true
Fire light in your eyes, wind in your hair
As we burn my torturous office chair
And my shirt and my khakis and my fancy dress shoes
A guaranteed remedy for curing these blues
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