POEM - You Know I Don’t Like Any of You, Right?

It is May 20^th

The day my mother always points to

As the most important day of my life

It has been 42 years

I’m still not buying it

But I will try to be nice

Since it is her birthday

I like to remind her how old I am

Tell her that she is a grandmother

That her oldest child

            Now has a child

                        Old enough to have children

It’s a little reminder that her days are numbered

The great-grandchildren will arrive

And then it is done

            She will then be REALLY old!

Today I will call her with best wishes

She will say that my brothers called earlier

Were surprised I hadn't already

She will say that I am maturing

Not waking her at 3AM when I could have

I will laugh and dispel that thought

            “You haven’t checked Facebook then!”

I should be more grateful

This woman taught me many lessons

Like having a suspension of disbelief

When it comes to hair color

I thought blonde roots were dark brown

And my wife was a red head

Until well into my married life

Besides, I owe her a lot

For all the horrible things I did

Or taught other to do

That she has suffered through

            With good natured exasperation

And indefatigable love

It is what a mother will do

Despite tilting all of her pictures

To mess with her OCD

And moving everything just out of reach

            When she had a broken leg

All the fart sounds and throw-up

            And endless attempts to disgust        

She will always respond just right

Roll her eyes

            Expel a guffaw of disgust

                        Ask the heavens why her

Tell us just how much

She really doesn't like us