It
is the Saturday before Mother’s Day
Linda
and I have snuck out
We
are supposed to be buying tablecloths
Instead
we are sitting at Sonic
Eating ice cream
Without any of the
kids
Linda
got the Strawberry Cheesecake shake
Good call
I
am jonesing for caramel today
I go for the Turtle Chocolate Lava
Brownie Sundae
It
turns out to be delicious
As
I get to the end the ice cream and brownie mix
Puddle in the corner
A
magical, sumptuous slurry
Reminiscent of every good birthday
It
is one of my favorite things
I scoop up a healthy serving
And offer it to Linda
She
balks at the offer
Says it isn’t really her favorite
Reminds
her too much of being the youngest
And all the mud-pies her sisters fed
her
I
know that being the youngest has its perks
You
get more attention
You
get special treatment
The
parents are usually too tired to care
By the time the youngest rolls around
So
you can get away with stuff
Stuff that makes the older siblings
incredulous
Spewing
the obligatory comments
About how easy the youngest always has it
But
after this incident with Linda, I’ve reconsidered
Being
the test run child wasn’t so bad
The oldest slot was really pretty good
For
one, I don’t have a working knowledge
Of the texture of mud pies
I
never received
nooggies,
wedgies
or swirlies
I
issued them!
I
had permanent shot-gun when mom was absent
Made
all the mistakes first
Before my parents could see them
coming
Lived
my life in new underwear
Unlike my three younger brothers
The
briefs and boxers rolled downhill
In our frugal household
So
being the oldest is something I’ll take
Because
it’s hard to be happy
When
your mom places underwear in your drawer
That have someone else’s name in the
waistband
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