I know it is unusual that we would communicate in this fashion, but since it seems to be in vogue at this time to expound heartily upon each and every undertaking of each and every individual, whether they are of import to world affairs or merely players on an ever more crowded stage, we felt it necessary to partake in the shameless self-promotion with what some call a Christmas letter, though it could just as easily be called a year-end letter, if one felt so inclined.
To catch up, this is what's hapening from the youngest on up:
Ezra has made us so proud. At only three he is already fielding offers from a variety of parties interested in his attendance at their fine facilities of higher learning. He is living a healthy and active life being sure to get exercise whenever he can, regardless of where he is (i.e. the bathtub, church, a funeral, strapped in a car seat). His desire to be active is truly amazing. He is currently working on some issues with his bowels, namely it seems that when sitting on the commode, he is unable to defficate and suddenly experiences a degree of fear and apprehension. Luckily his urination efforts are not inhibited by this condition. We hope and pray for his eventual conquest of his issue with his issue ;)
Claire is such a delightful and bright child and her agressive nature keeps us on our toes. She is currently working on post-doctorate studies in anger management and we expect her report to be presented with in the next 20 to 25 years. She is truly a shining example of exhaustive research and methodology. We have a sneaking suspicion she may just figure out a way to dominate the world, so we try to keep on her good side.
Josephine keeps us informed of all events and happenings around the neighborhood and the other social circles she is party to. She is obviously one of the most popular children in the school as she relates to us each evening how both teacher and student alike hang on her every word and action. I believe the school world would stop its rotation and crumble to ruin of not for the fulcrum which Josie's existence provides. She is also a leading candidate for world rule, and the competition is often fierce within the walls of our home. We view it as a positive growth experience and pray for larangitis soem times.
Max longs to be on the road without a care in the world, footloose and shoe-free. He longs to feel the wind in his flowing curly locks and the ground beneath his grungy naked soles. At least that's what it seems like. Max is a complex individual with many layers; like an onion . . . you know, an onion has layers . . . and it smells bad. Think of that when you think of Max; layers of complex aromas. Through all of his aromatic accomplishments and freewheeling roaming, he has somehow found time to become an accomplished musician. He has done this without the knowledge of his parents or family, which shows just how clever he can be. We foresee a future in espionage for Max. He is a stone faced Sphinx of mystery most of the time, and his ability to remove random items from view and deposit them is undiscoverable hiding places. Sometimes he does this without his own knowledge, so really we see a future in espionage for his hands. Still, he is a delight and his kind heart often compensates for his frustratingly stealthy tendencies.
Veronica (aka Vern) is a teenager now.
Linda continues to bless the lives of all within her circle of influence. She is an ever vigilant mother and wife and her homemaking skills are legendary. Far and wide the tales are told of her raging beauty and her magnanimous and effervescent personality. She has continued to include in her busy schedule many hobbies on top of her already grueling schedule. She has a consuming love of reading that is incredibly intense. Many times she can be found so engrossed in a book that she barely flinches and eye bombarded though she may be by requests from every side. On top of this she is even able to dabble in a variety of pharmaceutical tests and has discovered many interesting new drug combinations for the war on migraines, a dread condition that plagues many a citizen of this fair country. All in all the world is a better place for her being in it and you should all count yourselves lucky to know her, just ask her, she'll tell you it's true.
Aaron - well now for my role as captain of this ship of fools. It is a role I aspire to with great perspiration and a little bit of jelly donut. At the beginning of the year I complete a college degree and am officially a poet, at least as far as education and the state university are concerned. I am currently courting a variety of publishers, but as of this writing I am still in the role of wallflower as far as my writing career is concerned. I am currently writing my second novel which discusses the intense relationship between post-alexandrian Rome and the creation of the English muffin as told through the eyes of two soft boiled eggs intent on a meaningful relationship in a toast inspired ménage à trois. I think it will be a best seller, but as yet I have no takers. I think I need to tweak the deli scene and re-imagine the role of the carrot if I expect it to be taken seriously. Ah well, it is my task not thine so I will burden thee no more. Adieu, adieu my update is at an end.
In and out of years one thing remains true; wherever you go, there you are. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine, and sometimes it is a really good Philly cheese-steak. If you live long enough to be a burden to your children, you win. Eat ice cream more than you take Prozac and you'll never need the number of my psychiatrist, but I'll give it to you if you want it. No matter who you are, consider this last question carefully: If I tell you you have a beautiful body, will you hold it against me?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and a great number of hugs and kisses to one and all,
The Masons.
